Barney: Do you know why you're not over Lily yet? It's 'cause you can still picture her naked. You can't get over a woman until you can no longer picture her boobs. It's a scientific fact. The average male brain can only store a finite number of boob images, or BPEGs. And your hard drive's filled to the capacity with Lily's.
Barney: Robin, I'm his best friend, that's a commitment. You're just his girlfriend. That's like a bad flu, out of your system after a couple of weeks in bed. High five!
Carl: Hey, Lily. Still single?
Carl: You know, I poured a lot of free drinks for you over the years, a lot.
Lily: Carl, do you really want to be with a woman who would trade sex for beer.
Carl: Only if you're into it.
Barney: Oh, and P to the S, I never got my payout from Seattle two weeks ago, yeah. Don't make me call the gaming commissions on you , I'm sure they'd be very interested to know what's going on over there, alright, alright? Ok I love you too mom, take care.